Is it tacky to ask for cash or gift cards at a wedding?
4thtwin asked:
Me and my fiance are planning a wedding for June of this year. Instead of the traditional reception we’re having a casual cook out at out house after the wedding. Instead of gifts we’re asking our immediate families to help out with that. Food wise. A few people bring ground beef. A few bring dogs and buns, etc. That’s just the immediate family though. They won’t mind doing that because we already have everything for our house. But those guests that we invite that aren’t family my girl was thinking we could just ask them for either cash or gift cards. I really don’t have a problem with that but how do you ask for that? Let’s say someone has a favorite restaurant they like to go to. Maybe they could get us a gift card for a free dinner or something like that.
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Me and my fiance are planning a wedding for June of this year. Instead of the traditional reception we’re having a casual cook out at out house after the wedding. Instead of gifts we’re asking our immediate families to help out with that. Food wise. A few people bring ground beef. A few bring dogs and buns, etc. That’s just the immediate family though. They won’t mind doing that because we already have everything for our house. But those guests that we invite that aren’t family my girl was thinking we could just ask them for either cash or gift cards. I really don’t have a problem with that but how do you ask for that? Let’s say someone has a favorite restaurant they like to go to. Maybe they could get us a gift card for a free dinner or something like that.
I’ve heard of couples doing that before and even a couple that asked people to help pay for their trip to Hawaii.
Is it tacky to ask for cash or gift cards?
I just wanna know. And how do you go about doing it?
Put a little insert in the invitation or do you do it by word of mouth?
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:48 pm
no way! i think its a good idea
February 4th, 2009 at 3:39 am
Well, according to the rules of etiquette, it is in bad taste to ask for money as a wedding gift.
February 6th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
All you have to do is is place in the invitation that would would prefer cash or a gift card because you would like to use it on items you will need in the future or items you need for the house that way there isn’t allot of clean up. It’s your wedding you can have it any way you want.
February 9th, 2009 at 1:54 am
Id say putting it in a invitation would work..such as..”Cash gifts would be preferable please” and it is a bit of a Fau Pa but if you really NEED cash then you should do it
February 9th, 2009 at 8:45 am
i personally think it’s tacky to ASK for gifts… it’s easier if you register the places you like and put the gifts you want as gift cards.
that’s a more polite way of doing it.
February 12th, 2009 at 12:59 am
You cant ask or do an insert according to etiquette. But word of mouth would be ok. Like if a guest called your mom and asked what you guys need she could just say “oh sara and tom have most everything they need. a gift card to a restaurant would be wonderful. How kind of you to think of them.”
February 15th, 2009 at 10:56 am
It is tacky. You can’t do it.
LOVE that you are having a sensible wedding though, potluck style!!!
That is EXCELLENT, and not tacky at all ! Congratulations on being intelligent, and concentrating on the meaning of the day
If peeps want to bring you gifts or cash, they will.Most folks will. No need to mention it.
February 17th, 2009 at 3:07 am
Its a fine line between fun and tacky. I would have your request spread by word of mouth. Most guests will ask your family what you need or want & they can tell them then. That way you don’t seem pushy or greedy. Plus that way if someone already has a special gift planned for you they don’t feel bad.
February 19th, 2009 at 5:30 am
It IS tacky to ask for money like that.
Leave it out altogether and don’t say anything to guests about what you want as a gift. Let is spread via word of mouth.
February 22nd, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Ok, so here is my advice. I think its a great casual even you are planning. Giftcards and cash are always a popular option for guests because it lets the couple get what they really want.
But in no way is it ok for you to outright say, “Hey we do not gifts, only giftcards/cash.” However, you can tell your family and friends to put that suggestion out there. It is totally cool to do the word-of-mouth just a big no-no for you to ask it in the invitations or bring it up if the subject wasn’t already brought up. You know? Gifts are usually given but its not expected and it is said to be rude to be outright with it. So yeah,
But let your family and friends put it out there for you and guests want to give the couple something that they will use and not some dang crystal vase that will just collect dust. I also suggest creating a registry for those who are more traditional or want to actually give a gift.
February 25th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
You’re asking your family to bring food? Like ‘hey come to my party but you have to feed yourself’? I think that is tacky.
And anyway asking for gifts (money or not) is horribly tacky.
February 28th, 2009 at 1:01 am
Yes, its tacky. There is NO polite way to do it.
Don’t register anywhere at all, and people will either give you money or choose gifts of their own.
February 28th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
It is highly rude and improper to request cash of any kind. It is also rude to ask your family to bring their own food.
March 1st, 2009 at 8:52 pm
It really is tacky to come out and ask, because then it’s like you’re assuming they’ll get you a gift. And while most people will get you a gift, they don’t want to feel obligated to. What I would do is just not register, and by word of mouth spread the news along that gift cards are appreciated, especially Visa card ones (that are a gift card for anywhere and anything), because you’d like to put them towards a honeymoon, etc. I wouldn’t put anything in the invite, because even if people do get you gifts, most people put a gift receipt with it, and you can go take it back for cash! =)
March 3rd, 2009 at 3:20 pm
In the vietnamese culture we only receive cash. It’s a way to break even on your wedding (even make some extra) and help with your new future with your husband/wife. It’s not tacky in our culture at all. A majority of couples today are paying for weddings themselves and I think it’s a great idea. It’s a given in our culture but I wouldn’t know how to go about it the American culture. I wouldn’t register for gifts. I think word of mouth would be good. Putting it in terms of your future together I think would be appropriate. People will understand.
March 6th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Well, here is my opinion on the food thing. I’m southern raised and I think about 90% of the wedding I have been to have been covered dish wedding and everyone who brought food enjoyed the fact that they were helping out and making it a good wedding with great food. I personally DO NOT think it is rude at all. I would definately tell your family by spreading it word of mouth that you want to do it covered dish style. You’d be surprised out how much better the food will be anyway. People put alot into food they cook for things like this. I think it’s great and I think your family (depending on how they are and only you would know) will love to make food for your special day.
Now, the cash and gift card thing…I don’t know. I’m having a June wedding also and I am hung up on that question too. Mine is spreading through word of mouth that we are saving for tube reversal because my fiance would like a child of his own. I would definately not put it in the invitations but maybe word of mouth. All you have to do is pick the people in your family that like to talk to everyone, tell them and everyone will know. lol
March 6th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
it is tacky to ask for money in any form, but you should not register anywhere and if people ask why you aren’t registered tell them you can’t think of anything you need for around the house. most people would figure out to give you money then.
March 7th, 2009 at 11:59 am
It is beyond tacky to ask for anything. Gifts, money , and gift cards are always given, its kind of like an unspoken rule. You never ever ask for them or expect them, you are asking them to come and celebrate your new life together and host a nice party, asking or expecting something in return from your guests is not only tacky its rude.
March 11th, 2009 at 12:23 am
It is the ultimate in tacky to ask for cash or gift cards. Guests at your wedding and cook out are just that: guests. They are not required to bring a gift, they may only do so if they wish. To instruct them what to bring as a gift is considered the ultimate in rude. If they decide to bring a gift, then they get to choose it. If they call you and ask what you would like as a gift, you may say “We really like *** restaurant, a gift card to there would be nice.” Other than that, it’s up to them.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
you do it by word of mouth…and not your mouth. tell your mom or someone else who is close to you. then when the family calls her and asks what you might want or need she can tell them you are saving for a trip to hawaii and cash would really help.